#i think making this gave my brain more seratonin than its had in a long long time cuz im shaking pretty hard as i write this lmao

[cj-the-random-artist]

I don’t know how I managed to do this in a day.  Like.  I think I pumped this out on pure adrenaline

But again.  If ur at the caption ya probably say the PSA spoiler wall that says that this comic contains spoilers for the Limited Life SMP finale.  Well and I’m tagging this as spoilers so it’d be evident anyways lol.  So I won’t write my spiel about go watch the end of Limited Life and I’ll just say oh my god what a finale it was absolutely epic.  I loved every moment of it.

But yeah.  I sketched this out as one of those “ahh silly goofy doodly sketchy sketchbook comics when I’m spewing a thought into my sketchbook” and then.  My impulsiveness (there’s a pun there.  Is it intentional?  That’s for you to decide) won in the end and this exists now.  It’s not the best quality of anything I’ve ever made but gosh darnit it was so much fun to make.  So so much fun.

But yeah.  Limited Life was absolutely amazing from start to finish and every POV was awesome (but if ya can’t tell team TIES is gonna live in my head rent free for a while lol)

That said.  Enjoy this silly little mini comic I made and have a good day :D

[fangirlshrewt97]

Tale As Old As Time... (Part 4)

Well the response to this fic continues to overwhelm. I cannot remember the last time my brain was producing this much seratonin and dopamine. I am over the moon, truly thanks to each and every one of you who has taken the time to read and comment on this story. All the love you are sending my way is being sent straight into my brain and converted into more of this story. I still do not know how long this story will be, but rest assured we are still very much at the start. 

And before we go to today’s chapter, I just need everyone to please go and see @ssabriel’s absolutely insane and breathtaking masterpiece rendition of a scene from Part 1, which can be found here. 

Thank you for reading all this, now onto the story...

Full work Ao3 Link.

(Previous Chapter) (Next chapter)

///

Bhairava dropped like a puppet with its strings cut as soon as the door slammed behind the King. He gripped at table’s edge as he tried to control his panicked breathing. What the hell had he been thinking?

He ran a hand through his hair, wincing as his scalp pulled at the harsh treatment. He could feel phantom fingers still threaded through the strands.

He felt his heart racing, and saw his hands trembling. He covered his face, closing his eyes. Only to open them when those furious onyx eyes flashed behind his eyelids.

Since he had stepped into the dining room he had been unsure whether he was walking towards his death. Those eyes had rendered his mind blank, and he had moved out of habit.

God help him, what was going to happen next? He glanced up at the feast in front of him, barely touched. At his own plate, which did not look nearly as inviting. At the King’s full plate.

Why hadn’t he just kept his mouth shut?

Those eyes. It had been those eyes. They were even darker than he had been dreaming about. He had felt stripped bare, utterly helpless and powerless against their fire. He had felt every inch the prey, but all he had wanted to do was tilt his throat in submission.

He reached his hand out blindly, finding the goblet the King had filled for him and downed it in one go. It was sweet and heavy, and made the world go woozy for a second.

His hands were still shaking when he set the cup down. He struggled to stand upright, to not let his knees buckle.

He looked to the door the King left through. He doubted the man would return.

Bhairava turned and walked through his usual entrance, keeping his head ducked as the guards silently took him up to his rooms. They switched the paths constantly, and the corridors looked just similar enough that Bhairava was not able to draw any kind of mental map about his route to or from his room.

The door shut behind him, and he stood lost in the threshold. He went to the balcony, biting his lip to keep from crying out as the cold wind bit into his skin. He was barefoot, and the stone floor was cold as ice. Still he walked to the edge. If he leaned forward he could make out part of the city. The tall gopura of the main Shiva temple. The walls that stretched between the small mountain pass which gave entry into the city.

All these days he spent waiting to see if the wolf would chase him, if the viper would strike him when he got distracted. And ultimately he poked the beast. Ultimately, he had been willing to be caught. He had practically offered himself on a platter. Was he to die tomorrow? Would the King start a war after he killed him? Would he keep him alive and make him watch?

He clawed at his face. He had taken a knife to a King! He was lucky the man hadn’t broken his neck then and there.

He paused. The King hadn’t broken his neck. He could have though. So easily. With his broad hands, each of which could easily wrap around Bhairava’s throat. Could have killed him with the strength he had displayed as he had yanked Bhairava up with barely a grunt, like he barely weighed anything.

Bhairava was a soldier, and young, and strong. He was fast and clever and confident in his skills.

But the King? Bhairava shivered for a reason entirely unrelated to the cold. In fact he felt warmth take over his chest as he recalled the way the King’s touch seemed to burn.

The King was …menacing. An aura around him akin to the most deadly predator.  He was large, with shoulders that dwarfed Bhairava’s own, and a chest as wide as a tree trunk. His every move was filled with surety, and his attitude made it clear he knew he was the most powerful person in that room. There was no doubt he was also  the most dangerous person in the room. In any room. He did not need a crown, or to be bedecked in gold and diamonds, wearing loud silks and heavy embroidery for anyone to recognize him for what he was.

Bhairava retreated into the room when his teeth started to chatter, his feet feeling like blocks of ice.

He wandered into the bathroom. The waters were lukewarm, but it was still blissful after the bitter cold of the balcony. He stripped out of his clothes, sinking into the waters with a groan. He inhaled a deep breath and dunked into the water.

Onyx eyes like a new moon night with no stars flashed in his mind.

He gasped as he shot out of the water, coughing as he tried to expel some water he had accidentally swallowed. He leaned over the marble stairs, staring at the distorted reflection that rippled as water dripped from his hair. For just a second, the reflection seemed to change to resemble the King’s face.

Bhairava dragged a hand down his face, ending by slapping it against the small puddle. He pulled himself out of the water, drying himself before entering the bedchamber. He pulled out one of the dhotis he had discovered in the back of the shelves, and a cotton kurta, dressing quickly. He rubbed the towel through his hair vigorously, wringing out as much water as possible.

The room was already cooling faster as a result of how long Bhairava had stayed out with the balcony doors open. He made his away across the room to crawl under the covers. Then stilled. He glanced at the silk rope that held the curtains against the posts. He untied them, breath still coming out in gasps as one by one the heavy curtains blocked out the world outside. Even the light seemed unable to penetrate the thick material.

He sat in the middle of the bed, hands curling into the soft blankets. He closed his eyes, despite not being able to see anything anyways. He shivered when he felt a palm threading itself through his hair. A finger running down his cheek.

And there, in a dark bubble of his own creation, Bhairava let himself reach between his legs, onyx eyes watching over him from inside his own head.

///

When Bhairava woke the next morning, it was to a pounding headache and complete disorientation. Sweat was sticking to his skin and the bed smelled of …

Bhairava shot up, mortified as the memory of last night filtered into his sleep-hazy brain.

What the hell was wrong with him? He crawled to the edge of the bed, misjudging the length and ended up nearly sprawling on the floor as he tripped on the bed’s canopy curtains. The sudden influx of light blinded him temporarily, as he blinked rapidly to adjust.

He clutched at the bedsheets he had dragged over the side, as he fought to orient himself, taking deep breaths till the world came into focus. The room… looked the same. The lights from the high arched mosaic windows radiated heat. Just how long had Bhairava slept?

He found his customary breakfast tray had been placed on the table instead of by his bed. Just as well, with what had just happened, that tray would have likely ended up on the floor.

Vigorously rubbing his hands against his face, he slapped himself for good measure.

Last night…last night were the delusions of a madman facing down the noose. Nothing else.

Onyx eyes flashed in his mind again. He whimpered. God help him.

He somehow amassed the will to get up and bathe again, changing into the usual cotton tunic and pants he had been left. Except this time there were accompanied by a sturdy pair of slippers. Since he had come, he had only been wearing the same soft-soled black slippers. He toweled at his hair.

A knock at the door startled him. Clutching at the towel, he approached the door. No one had yet knocked before.

He tried the door handle. Gasped when he found it swinging open.

The advisor stood on the other side. A tall man in a turban stood behind him. He raised an eyebrow at Bhairava’s state of dress, making the younger man blush. “The King has said you are to be shown around the capital. It is not a task that can be accomplished in one day, nor do I have that much time to spare as a caretaker. This is Tapan, he will be your escort. You will listen to what he says. If you attempt to escape, you will not like the consequences. Are we clear?”

For the second time in as many days, Kala Bhairava felt his head spin. He had been so certain he would not get to see sunset today, but now he was to see the city? What did that even mean?

A snap focused his attention back to Kaaka who let the slightest hint of annoyance slip past his impassive mask. “Get ready quickly. Wear something appropriate of a guest of a king.”

Kaaka turned sharply and walked away. Tapan was staring curiously at him, but maintained his soldier’s pose, straight backed and arms folded behind him.

He inclined his head. “My lord.”

Bhairava choked. “I am no lord! Just, just call me Bhairava. Please.”

Tapan looked confused for a minute, before nodding hesitantly. “As you wish my- Bhairava garu.”

Bhairava made a helpless sound and left the door cracked open as he stumbled to the wardrobe. What was going on right now? He stopped before the mirror.

He slapped himself once to make sure he wasn’t actually already dead and having some bizarre afterlife hallucination.

Damn it.

Bhairava removed the clothes he had been wearing, quickly changing into a long sleeved yellow kurta and white pyjamas. He grabbed one of the white scarfs to tie into a sash around his middle. Remembering the slippers he had been left that morning, he wore them, and went to the door.

Tapan was outside, leaning against the railing with his eyes closed. He was wearing a green kurta with a red and black vest, with a black sash tied around his middle. His turban matched the maroon of his vest. His pants were simple black cotton, and he wore similar study slippers. His black hair was completely covered by the turban. He had a handsome face, straight nose and sharp cheeks. Fierce look about it. Not the kind you would want to brawl.

At the sound of the door, he turned to see Bhairava, before frowning. “You will leave your hair like that?”

Bhairava ran a hand through his locks. “What do you mean?”

“It is customary here for men to tie their hair up in at least half a turban when they go outside. But if you do not wish to, I suppose you do not need to.”

“Oh,” Bhairava said dumbly. “I-uh, do not think I have any cloths to use as turbans?”

Tapan scratched his head. “Would it be alright if I checked? I can’t imagine Maharaj did not leave you some.”

“Maha…” Bhairava blinked as he stepped to the side, allowing the taller man to enter the room. As Tapan searched through the wardrobe, Bhairava’s mind raced. The King had chosen these clothes he had been wearing? Why? Did that mean these belonged to him? But no, they wouldn’t fit him. The jewellery then? It certainly was finer than anything he could have owned.

Bhairava was deep in thought when Tapan emerged with a victorious grin, a shimmering golden cloth in his hand. “See, I knew Maharaj would have left you a few pieces, there is a whole pile of them in the upper shelf. Do you want me to tie it for you?”

Bhairava flushed faintly as he grabbed the cloth. “No need, I know how to do it.”

Tapan shrugged. “Let me know when you are done.”

///

The last time Bhairava had stepped foot outside the palace had been to bid Mithravinda goodbye. The day had been gloomy and cold. Today the sun was shining down on them, a warm heat that made him want to curl up and sleep. In the light of the midday sun, the palace looked less menacing too, the black stone instead turning to a slate grey that gave the place a look of antiquity.

The guards stared at him as he walked with Tapan, but didn’t say anything. Bhairava glanced at his escort. He was taller than him by a good head, and obviously a trained guard, with the way his eyes were constantly scanning their surroundings. He held himself in a deliberately relaxed position, and his sash hung down his left side. Bhairava would bet anything Tapan was carrying at least a small knife if not a short machete.

“So, do you have somewhere you want to start?”

“Uh…Bhairava blanked. Start? He still had no idea what was the purpose of this whole charade. “Nothing in particular.”

Tapan shrugged. “Would you mind if we went to the market then? My sister’s birthday is coming up and I still have not bought her anything. Not had a lot of time.”

“Sure.” Bhairava agreed, relieved to not have to choose.

Tapan walked at a slow pace, not complaining as Bhairava trailed behind him, gaping at everything around him. Bhairava had just extrapolated his thoughts about the kingdom from the brief period he had spent hunting down the princess’s location. That had always been in the cover of the night.

But now, in the morning, the city was a thriving metropolis, filled with people haggling and joking. A few drunks being kicked out of a drinking establishment that Tapan shooed away. Kids shrieking with laughter as they chased after some equally delighted puppies. Mothers rocking their babies, and old men sitting in verandas, chewing pan as they gazed at the rest of them. Where was the miserable hell?

“Just around this turn.” Tapan mused before leading them into a massive open square. A long shadow fell over them, Bhairava leaning his head back to see the top of the magnificent temple gateway.

“Tapan garu?” Bhairava asked as they passed the massive wooden gates of the temple. He could spy a large horde of people stringing up flowers and positioning diyas around the temple scaffolds. “Is there a function about to happen?”

Tapan stopped, turning to look at him puzzled. “It will be Shivaratri tomorrow, Bhairava garu.”

“Shiv- already?” Bhairava muttered, mentally doing a quick calculation. He had already been here two weeks. “That’s what they are decorating the temple for?”

Tapan hummed. “King Raavan is as big a devotee of Shiva as the original King Raavana. He insists that Shivaratri be celebrated grandly each month. It’s also the one night a month he will come down to the city without fail. He leads the poojas.”

Bhairava felt stunned. “I…I didn’t realize he was so… religious.”

“No one expects him to be. He is a strong believer in Mahadev, but he doesn’t show it through vibooti or sindhoor. But you should see this city during the days leading up to Mahashivaratri. It is stunning.”

“Yes…I can see that.” Bhaivara agreed. “What else happens during Shivaratri?”

“There is always a feast at the temple, the King orders the palace cooks to help out and prepare enough food to feed the city. No one goes hungry on those nights. For the newborns, they are given a silver coin on their first Shivaratri. There are dance performances that last well into the night, as well as concerts. In other parts of the city, plays are performed.”

“And this happens every month?” Bhairava clarified.

Tapan grinned widely at him. “Only since King Raavana took the throne. In the start it was overwhelming and almost felt like too much. People were…suspicious of the reason, but now everyone looks forward to it.

Ah, here we are.”

Bhairava stayed quiet as he processed all these new revelations. Tyrant king or generous devotee? Terrifying man or kind ruler? Imposing stranger…or alluring … something?

Who exactly was King Raavana? And why did Bhairava feel so desperate to unravel the enigmatic man?

The questions continued to swirl in his head long after he had returned to the palace. Tapan had been a considerate guide, though it had been evident Bhairava’s mind was elsewhere. Bhairava had dreaded what would await him at dinner, and tried to tamp down the disappointment of being met with only the advisor sitting at his usual place, the King nowhere in sight.

He dreamed of onyx eyes and strong hands again. He let himself go where his heart wished, desiring an understanding of the situation above all else.  

///

I guess this was more tension building than moving the plot forward. I promise Part 5 will be a lot more fun. 

P.S I tried to catch myself whenever I wrote/referenced the Tamil name for something rather than the Telugu, but if there are other cultural things I have missed, please let me know. 

Feedback is appreciated.

Tagging (Please please work, Tumblr I beg you):  @rambheem-is-real @budugu @bromance-minus-the-b @junebugyeahhh @hissterical-nyaan @obsessedtoafault @hufhkbgg @yehsahihai @rorapostsbl @bluesolace1 @fadedscarlets @alikokinav @chaotic-moonlight @rambheemisgoated @rambheemlove @jaganmaya @burningsheepcrown @lovingperfectionwonderland @rosayounan @iam-siriuslysher-lokid @thewinchestergirl1208 @dumdaradumdaradum @ronaldofandom @jjwolfesworld @jrntrtitties @kashpaymentsonly @jeonmahi1864 @zackcrazyvalentine @stanleykubricks @m3gs1mps4a @tulodiscord @teddybat24 @sally-for-sally @ssabriel @jadebomani @stuckyandlarrystuff @veteran-fanperson @ohfuckoffpls

[killthe-illusionarydreams]

Chronic Emptiness

Fred x reader

After the war

Summary: Y/N having a depressive episode & Fred trying to help her through it. Basically me living vicariously through her. Soft moment.

Warning: Mentions of depression & plainly feeling like shit

——————

Y/N was exhausted. Not by her job or work, just mentally drained. This sort of thing happened sometimes. One moment she was okay, the next it all came crashing down on her & she’d feel pure hatred for the world she was living in. Fred had gotten used to it by now, he’d be the ever so caring boyfriend & try to help her through it however he could. Exept he really couldnt do much but reassure Y/N that he was there for her.

And of course Y/N appreciated him & all his efforts, she loved Fred more than life itself & everyone knew that. But sometimes she just needed space. Like today.

They were at a bar with George & Angelina and several other mates after their shifts had all ended from their various occupations. George & Fred at their joke shop, Angelia at the Ministry, Y/N at St Mungos.

Y/N never truly felt like she belonged, not growing up at home, not at Hogwarts, & certainly not in St Mungos where she was working as a nurse. Its not that she hated the job, more like it didn’t particularly cause her immediate joy. She just did it. She got on with it & did what she had to.

As her friends were dancing to the music Y/N leant into her boyfriends ear so he’d hear her say “Hey Fred I think I’m gonna head home early today, I’m tired.”

The man looked up at her, as if trying to read her thoughts “D’you want me to come with love?”

Y/N shook her head, declining the offer “No dont worry. I’ll go through the park, I need some fresh air anyway.” Fred nodded & bid her goodbye with a kiss, telling her to stay safe. “I’ll see you at home.”

It was already dark outside, the tall streetlamps being the main source of light for the woman, but she wasnt really paying attention to where she way going, not caring enough to look. Y/N got to the park near the flat where her & Fred lived, deciding to make a pitstop there she sat on one of the wooden benches that overlooked a small river.

Letting out a heavy sigh she put her head into the palms of her hands, it was feeling all too heavy lately. “Dear Merlin I’m so tired.” Mumbling, the woman rolled her head in her hands before sitting back up and gazing at the sky. Oh how beautiful it looked tonight.

Lighting up a cigarette, she put it to her lips & took a long inhale. She was supposed to be quitting smoking, Fred always got on her about continuing the habbit. In all honesty Y/N didnt care enough to stop, at this point she wasnt even sure if she still got the same boost of seratonin from smoking as she used to. But again, it didnt bother her.

“Fuck me why is life so draining?” She asked no one in particular, she knew why it was draining, the abundance of issues with her brain promptly being the answer. She just wished it were easier. Easier to deal with things.

Realistically Y/N had nothing to be unhappy about anymore, there was no war, she had a good life, an amazing boyfriend, a stable job, decent friends. But there was a permanent void in her heart that could never be filled. Ever since she was a child it stayed with her. Maybe her cold & harsh, unloving parents brought it on, or maybe how she didnt let herself feel love & would distance herself from anyone that ever got close to her. But it was there. Unmovable.

The woman let the smoke out from her mouth, sighing at why she was having another one of her episodes, feeling shitty about having said episode. Yet, there was nothing she could do to stop it from occuring. “Fuck off brain.” She mumbled to herself, cursing her biology & upbringing “Stop feeling so Shit.”

“I keep you alive you ungrateful idiot.” She huffed to herself “And I’m doing a pretty good job, so stop making me feel like its my fault.” It wasnt her fault. If it were, Y/N would know how to fix it & evidently stop feeing this way.

Some would say the war brought this Y/N on, but people knew that she was like this way before. However, before she was better at hiding it. Better at hiding the dark circles, the restlessness, the ‘I dont care what happens to me’ attitude. In all honesty it didnt bother Y/N that people knew she was like this, she didnt do it on purpose. And when she could- she’d be happy- the life of the party, in those instances she could hide her feelings. But sometimes they just got too overwhelming to bare.

“You’re being such a selfish prick.” She sighed and puffed on yet another cigarette “Go home Y/N. Go to the man who loves you.” Yet she made no motion to move. It’d probably been two hours since she left the bar, she wasnt keeping track of time, not feeling the need to.

Sometimes she thought that Fred didnt love her, not because he said something or did something, but because she thought that Fred puts up with her. Which wasn’t true, the man loved her to death, she made him feel alive. Y/N was a risk taker, an adventurer, someone that kept you on your toes- & he admired that about her. Y/N was smart & funny & the most gorgeous person Fred had ever seen, but he knew that behind her sarcasm & faux narcissistic comments, she didnt believe it. Oh what he’d give for the woman to see herself through his eyes.

A few more minutes passed & the woman got up with a sigh, throwing the butt of her cigarette down, she made her way home.

The door creaked open, a little too loudly for Y/N’s taste, she winced at the sound, hoping it wouldnt wake Fred.

“Where were you?” The light flicked on. Before her stood a dischevelled Fred, arms crossed “I got home and you werent here.”

“I was in the park.” She mumbled, taking her coat off “Lost track of time, sorry.”

Fred looked at the woman before him, he noticed the dark circles that she tried to cover prefousley with makeup, noticed the ash on her jacket and faint aroma of smoke mixed with sadness.

“Its fine.” He reassured her and went to hug her, pretending to not notice her cold body & how she stiffened when he touched her “Just let me know next time alright?”

The woman hummed in agreement and walked into the living room, as she sat on the couch she put the tv on to play some sort of muggle program but not really paying attention to it. She just didnt fancy Fred interrogating her about her feelings. She hated talking about them, normally just botteling them up. Maybe that was the cause of her unhappiness.

A few moments went by & she thought Fred had went to bed, but then she felt the couch sink next to her. “Here” he placed a blanket around her & handed her a hot mug of tea “You’re freezing.” Mumbling a thanks she sipped on her drink, not really feeling like talking she waited for him to say something, anything.

And he did “Is it getting bad again?” Oh. Was it? Probably. Most definitely.

“I’m fine.” She lied “I’ll be fine.” Y/N wasnt convincing anyone.

Fred watched her, not knowing what to say or do. He wished he could help, just magically cheer up the love of his life. But thats not how life worked. “You’re good enough.” He blurted out “You deserve to feel happy.”

Y/N didnt look up at him, she knew Fred was trying to help. But was he? I dont know.

“Do I though, do I really?” She finally asked with a sigh, those seemed to be coming from her a lot lately “Because I know I do, I just dont feel it coming to me and its so draining to get on with life when you feel worthless.”

Fred took in what she just said, pausing before trying to come up with a reasonable response “I know.” He sighed “I want to help you Y/N, what can I do?” What could he do though? Realistically?

“I dont know. Nothing. This’ll pass soon enough and I’ll be okay.”

Fred knew that, Y/N was always ‘okay’ or ‘fine’ or ‘just tired’ “But I want you to be better than okay. I want you to be happy, to enjoy life and all its moments.”

Y/N scoffed “And you think I dont want that?” There was a tense silence

“Why dont we take the day off tomorrow and go out somewhere? We havent done that in a while.” Fred suggested. It was true, with both of them being bombarded by work they hardly saw eachother in the last few months.

“Sure.” Y/N smiled sickly and set her tea down “Yeah alright I’ll just sack my job off to have a fun little date with you eh? Why not risk getting fired just because I’m feeling a little moody huh?”

Fred was taken aback by her words and immediately went back on what he said “If you dont want to thats fine I-“

“Im sorry” she cut him off “I’m sorry, that was a dick move I didnt mean it, just everythings gotten so much-“ she put her feet up on the couch to hug them “Im sorry.” A few stray tears fell onto her knees

Fred moved closer to her “Hey, its okay, its okay dont worry. I understand.” Oh sweet understanding Fred, Fred who gave you unconditional love and support. Fred who you keep snapping at.

Moments pass as he embraces you, your body leaning against his heavily. Not sure whether its the exhaustion or something else “I dont deserve you.” You mumble into his chest. He frowns cups your face in his hands, you lean in to his warm touch.

“Dont say that” you let out a quiet sob “Y/N you deserve the absolute world, and I wish I could give it to you & more. If I could take away your pain, I would. In an instant I would. You dont deserve to feel like this, to think like this. But I’m here for you okay. I love you, so fucking much you don’t understand.” He gazed into her eyes, wishing she could feel how much he meant it “You’re the best thing that happened to me & I’m going to prove it to you, whatever it takes Y/N.” He kissed your nose before letting you hug him tighter, relieved that you no longer shrunk away from his touch “Words cant express how much I love you.”

After a few more tears fall, Y/N laughs into his chest “Good because you’re stuck with me.”

Fred grins to himself “I wouldnt have it any other way.”

[the-jade-goblin]

for the pester me ask, would it be too much trouble to ask you to answer all the numbers? or as many as you can do! i can't think of one thing in particular i want to ask! you don't have to if you don't want sorry if im bothering you!

oho anon that is not too much trouble at all, answering questions about myself is a favourite pastime of mine. strap in kids its gonna be a bumpy ride

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?

yes, this is him. this wreck of a human being

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

it was my dad, and yeah sure because he didn’t mean to so it’s okay

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

um, my cat i guess?

4: What’s something you really want right now?

motivation would be nice. the will to live? even better!

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?

not of the love part, just the jerkface that will most likely ended up hurting me. im in love with so many fictional characters already so im not afraid of that

6: Do you like the beach?

sometimes, i have to be in the mood or else the sand getting everywhere will just piss me off

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

with someone else? i dont think so, only by myself

8: What’s the background on your cell?

this, my husband. natrually 

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?

i dont even know what this means tbh

10: Do you like your phone?

yeah its pretty good, better than spending my life savings on an iphone

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

fam if i planned to be broke, single, and living in squalor while being totally satisfied with my stagnant existence than yeah sure

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

my boss

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

i dunno, im not much of a dog person, but a poodle i guess?

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

physical. i can do emotional all day every day i aint got no soul anymore anyway

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

as much as i love animals, its sad seeing them in captivity, even if its probably better for them then being in the wild. plus i love art, so an art museum

16: Are you tired?

i am always tired my dude. i dont remember ever not being tired

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

like about 10 years

18: Are they a relative?

nope, my best friend

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

FUUUUUUCK NOOOOOO. All of my exes were abusive, fuck that

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

I havent spoken to my last ex in like, six months or more

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

if i knew without a doubt they were the right person hell yeah i’d marry them. i’d marry my best friend right now if she’d let me

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

ew no. my ex was a disgustingly bad kisser and he’s a dick

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

right now, none

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?

“no one can do you better than you, so do you and do you well”

25: What’s on your mind?

the inevitable and impending doom of death

26: Do you have any tattoos?

nope, but i want some. but im a pussy im scared of pain

27: What is your favorite color?

purple or green

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

literally never. its disgusting and id rather set myself on fire

29: Who are you texting?

my group chat friends who i organize kpop merch/cds buying and selling with

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

yeah i think it was my couch.

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

you mean like, every day? because yeah

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

eh, not really.

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

i sincerely doubt it

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

my ex-girlfriend said that a couple times

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

i literally wouldnt care

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?

yeah i’d broken up with my ex by then (he gave me my V Day gift as a ‘plz take me back’ thing, i took it and still said get out of my house)

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

hell no.

38: What do your friends call you?

apart from various nicknames to do with being a trash human being, mostly just T since my name is hard to nickname, or just my name

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?

thankfully no, its only thursday

40: Have you ever cried over a text?

yeah when my second-last ex broke up with me by telling me he’d been lying to me through our whole year-long relationship and never actually cared about me in the first place and that he just dated me because he felt bad for me since i was sad i just broke up with my girlfriend

41: Where’s your last bruise located?

my hip. 

42: What is it from?

i run into the counter at work a lot

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

oh when i just got home from my trip to japan and my now-ex picked me up from the airport and i remembered how uncomfortable he made me and i wanted nothing more than to be alone and away from him

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

my dad

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

yeah, they’re reeeally worn now, i need to get a new pair

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

no i just deal with my ugliness

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

nope, hell no.

48: Do you make supper for your family?

i cant cook

49: Does your bedroom have a door?

yes

50: Top 3 web-pages?

tumblr, youtube and like i dunno facebook i guess?

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

yeah one of my friends

52: Does anything on your body hurt?

my neck kinda

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?

i dont even do the goodbye thing i literally just walk away to avoid it

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

like milk i think

55: How is your hair?

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?

complain

57: Do you think two people can last forever?

you mean like a relationship, or immortality? 

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?

i was like 11 so yeah

59: Green or purple grapes?

green motha fuckaa

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

probably when i move in with my best friend in February 

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

preferably in a big warm library surrounded by books in a comfy chair with a fluffy blanket over me

62: When will be the next time you text someone?

monday when my friend tells me she’s here to pick me up

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?

in this bed like i am right now, scrolling through tumblr like always

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.

sleeping 

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

yeah my abusive ex

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

my many fictional husbands and wives, my kpop group members. but someone i actually know, like i guess my best friend

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

nope

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

‘fuck why cant i fucking sleep this is bullshit’

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

literally the story of my life

70: How many windows are open on your computer?

three. tumblr, youtube and facebook

71: How many fingers do you have?

all of them? 8, 2 thumbs

72: What is your ringtone?

my phone’s been on silent since 2008 dude

73: How old will you be in 5 months?

22

74: Where is your Mum right now?

probably at work

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

because a) she lives in texas and i live in australia b) she was abusively controlling and manipulative and i had to get out of that situation

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

nope

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

yep

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

ew yes hahaha gross 

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

my best friend’s step dad i guess, he’s a dick

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

my ex a few times. its really uncomfortable.

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?

real people? none. fictional people? way too many

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

nope

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

well i mean i could replay the arcana and see julian again

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

ew. i would never do that in the first place bc i dont drink nor do i harass strangers out of car windows.

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

yes, bc fuck that im out of here immediately. 

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

i mean, we nearly got killed going to a maccas at 2am by a homeless dude, and we also tried to cook pasta in the microwave bc the hotel’s hotplate wasnt working, and i also was suuuper tired and was screaming nonsense wrapped up in a doona and crashed into a glass door.

87: Who was your last received call from?

my bestie telling me her landlord said i could move in

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

i mean, i guess? like thats a bitch move and id be super sad but im a broke ass homie ok i need the money

89: What is something you wish you had more of?

motivation. seratonin or whatever that chemical your brain makes that makes you happy

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?

yeah like everyone i’ve ever dated

91: Do you sleep with your window open?

only if its super hot

92: Do you get along with girls?

hell yeah girls are awesome

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

no

94: Does sex mean love?

sex means me throwing up

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

fuck yeah, someone better unlock the door before that fuck ends up dead

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

no

97: Did you sleep alone this week?

yesssss andits greeeeat

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

sure, my bestie always makes me happy

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?

i guess. i dont know if i even feel love so im not sure how i would tell

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

what am i 12?